Bete Noire
by HuntaToyobu
Summary: The familiar characters of Ikebukuro return to face off with the infamous and elusive SCP Foundation, but not without the assistance of the reformed genius prosecutor and his bumbling detective sidekick. T for language. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Bête Noire**

_The familiar characters of Ikebukuro return to face off with the infamous and elusive SCP Foundation, but not without the assistance of the reformed genius prosecutor and his bumbling detective sidekick._

**Rated: T** for language and future violence/gore. No lemon, No yaoi. Pure action.

**Authors' Notes:**

**1.** It _will _be multi-chaptered

**2.** Chapter 2 will be posted up soon!

**3. Previous knowledge of Durarara! (anime):** Not mandatory, but to understand some one-liners and grasp the characters' personalities and backgrounds, it is advised. Based off of the anime only; although certain novel/manga characters are mentioned for the sole purpose of supporting the plot.

**4. Previous knowledge of the SCP Foundation (website):** Mandatory. The SCP Foundation is "a wiki that serves as a collection of reports on paranormal artifacts/humanoids, based around the idea of an international agency that contains items that threaten the normality of the world. These items are referred to as SCPs, with each one given containment procedures, a description, and a history of experiments on them," according to TV Tropes. Visit "Members' Pages"* for more character information. Individual SCP case links may be provided within this document, as some unmentioned details may pertain to the story.

**5. Previous knowledge of Ace Attorney (games/manga):** Not mandatory, but helpful in character and circumstantial understanding.

**Main Cast:  
Durarara!:** Izaya Orihara, Shizuo Heiwajima, Celty Sturluson, Shinra Kishitani  
**The SCP Foundation:** Dr. Clef, Dr. Gears  
******Trauma Team (game):** Dr. Gabriel Cunningham (as an SCP Personnel)**  
Ace Attorney:** Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, Detective Richard Gumshoe

*Members' Pages: scp - wiki (. net) (/) members-pages (remove spaces and brackets)

**In this Chapter:  
MAIN**** - Durarara!:** Shinra Kishitani  
**MAIN**** - The SCP Foundation:** Dr. Clef, Dr. Gears

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

– **Russia Sushi; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 10 – 11:47 pm –**

"No, no! The name comes from the A major chord played on a ukulele. None of that pussy violin crap."

The busy district of Ikebukuro was bustling with faceless people in faceless crowds. The noises of the city flooded the small sushi restaurant, not reaching the two figures talking at the bar.

"I thought the alto clef was for the viola. I could have sworn it was for the viola."

Although the denizens of Ikebukuro, especially those who frequented Russia Sushi, were familiar with strange sights, the other customers could not help but glance at the chatting men whose voices got increasingly louder with every clink of a glass.

"Whatever, dude." The man known most commonly as Dr. Clef reached into a large briefcase and pulled out a ukulele. "I take her everywhere with me. Her name is Linda."

The second man, a young underground doctor named Shinra Kishitani, peered at the instrument from behind his glasses. "You carry a banjo in your bag?"

"Ukulele! She's a _ukulele._ Get it right." Clef pushed his empty shot glass towards the girl behind the counter. "Fill 'er up!"

The bartender glanced at him, eyes flicking away nervously, her mouth pinched tight as if she was trying her hardest not to openly gawk. Shinra was the normal one of the duo, with his simple white lab coat and shoulder-length black hair. Clef, on the other hand, was dressed in a flamboyantly colorful Hawaiian shirt. That in itself would not have been odd, but the profane depictions of people engaging in all manners of sexual activity on it made it difficult for even the most eccentric Japanese person to handle. Despite his choice of dress, the feature that was most fascinating to the bartender was the foreigner's glare. His eyes, one seemingly blue and one seemingly green, looked almost inhumanly vivid with color.

"Hey, you deaf?" Clef picked up the empty glass and waved it around. "Man, these Asian chicks can't get enough of me!" He laughed heartily while Shinra sighed under his breath, relieved that the girl didn't understand Clef's English.

The bartender took the glass and filled it up, cautiously passing it back to Clef and then hurrying to the other side of the bar to help other customers.

"Oh, I wanted some too…" Shinra sighed, despite being used to the fact that things rarely go his way whenever he meets up with his old friend.

"So what've you been up to?" Clef gulped the shot down in one go. "Still being the good doctor that you are?"

"I don't think _good_ is the way most people would describe it, but yes." Shinra leaned against the counter. "I still don't understand why you left this line of work. Don't tell me you _prefer_ working in that crazy place."

"Ha!" Clef reached over the counter and grabbed hold of a bottle of cognac, filling his glass to the brim. "Of course I prefer it! The Foundation is _insane._ You never run out of fun things to do." He took a swig of the cognac. "And, y'know, I'm like saving the world." Another drink. "And shtuff. Yeah. _Shtuuuff._"

Shinra raised an eyebrow sardonically. "So everything in there can destroy the world?"

"Pfft, no! Not at all, man! That's just the Keters. And maybe some Euclids. Well, there was that time one from the Safe class got out—ah, not important." Clef took yet another drink, his colorful eyes taking on a glossy sheen. "What was I talking about?"

"Things that can destroy the—" Shinra was interrupted by Clef's laughter.

"Right, right! Oh, man, we have this one SCP, you wouldn't believe it!" The drunken laughter grew louder. "It's, it's this, tomato, right? And it—" he broke off in fits of giggles, gasping. "It can hear jokes, right? It has a sense of freakin' humor, man! Ha, can you imagine? A _tomato!"*_

Shinra just gaped at his friend. "Huh?"

Clef was about to continue, but his voice was cut short by the sound of the doors being slammed open. People scurried out of the way of two men, one in a lab coat and one in a black suit.

"Aw shit," Clef muttered, spinning around on the barstool to face them.

Shinra eyed them cautiously. "Friends of yours?" he inquired with forced lightness in his tone.

"Mm, wouldn't put it that way."

One of the men went up to Clef and Shinra, while the other blocked the doors to prevent anyone from leaving the restaurant.

"Goddamn it, Gears. I'm on vacation, go away." Clef made a shooing gesture toward the man. "Or do you wanna stay and have a drink with us?"

The man whom Shinra now knew to be Dr. Gears spoke up in a monotone – albeit authoritative – voice. "Every time, Clef. You know it is against protocol to speak of the Foundation outside Foundation walls." He pulled out a bottle of pills from his coat pocket. "Now I have to administer amnesiacs to all of these civilians. The Overseers have started to notice a correlation between depleting amnesiac numbers and your departures from the Foundation sites."

"Spare me the speech, Gears!" Clef hiccoughed.

"Wait, wait, amnesiacs?" Shinra sat up straighter, visibly worried. "I can't take any! I won't tell anyone, really. Dr. Clef and I are old friends, right?"

Clef raised his glass and exclaimed, "Right-o!"

The expression on the face of Dr. Gears did not change. "It is either amnesiacs or immediate termination."

Shinra gulped, looking at Clef for help. "But I can't forget anything about my beloved Celty! And I can't die! Please, there must be some other option."

"How about you join me? Just like old times!" Clef put an arm around Shinra, winking at Dr. Gears. "Whaddaya say, Gears? He'd be a _great_ addition to the team at Site 19."

A pregnant pause lingered in the air as strange looks were exchanged between the two Foundation scientists.

"Fine. He can join. But he will have to go through the evaluation just like everybo—"

"Yay!" Clef grinned and patted Shinra on the back. "Welcome to the team, buddy!"

Shinra wore a look of confusion mixed with relief on his face, trying to make sense of the situation. "So, how does this work? Do I pack up my things? Oh, I have to tell Celty – that is, my roommate – when she gets back from her job."

Dr. Gears was suddenly very close to Shinra, standing over him ominously. "You tell _no one._ You leave _tonight_." With that, him and the man in the black suit turned towards the terrified crowd of customers trapped in the restaurant.

Clef quickly pulled out some sunglasses and put them on, nudging Shinra with his elbow. "You might wanna close your eyes."

"What?"

A bright light flashed within the building of Russia Sushi and everything went black.

* * *

**A/N:** *Tomato SCP: scp - wiki (. net) (/) scp-504 (remove spaces and brackets)


	2. Chapter 2

**Bête Noire**

_The familiar characters of Ikebukuro return to face off with the infamous and elusive SCP Foundation, but not without the assistance of the reformed genius prosecutor and his bumbling detective sidekick._

**Rated: T** for language and future violence/gore. No lemon, No yaoi. Pure action.

**Authors' Notes:**

**1. Previous knowledge of Durarara! (anime):** Not mandatory, but to understand some one-liners and grasp the characters' personalities and backgrounds, it is advised. Based off of the anime only; although certain novel/manga characters are mentioned for the sole purpose of supporting the plot.

**2. Previous knowledge of the SCP Foundation (website):** Mandatory. The SCP Foundation is "a wiki that serves as a collection of reports on paranormal artifacts/humanoids, based around the idea of an international agency that contains items that threaten the normality of the world. These items are referred to as SCPs, with each one given containment procedures, a description, and a history of experiments on them," according to TV Tropes. Visit "Members' Pages"* for more character information. Individual SCP case links may be provided within this document, as some unmentioned details may pertain to the story.

**3. Previous knowledge of Ace Attorney (games/manga):** Not mandatory, but helpful in character and circumstantial understanding.

**In this Chapter:  
MAIN - Durarara!:** Izaya Orihara, Shizuo Heiwajima, Celty Sturluson  
**MINOR - Durarara!:** Tom Tanaka, Namie Yagiri, Mr. Shiki

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

– **Around the Tokyo Metropolitan Art Space; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 10 – 11:32 pm –**

"You know what to do, right?" The smooth voice caressed the words silkily, sending shivers up Celty's spine. It was the kind of voice that belonged to a serpent. She wondered if he called her to freak her out on purpose, since a text would have been much more appropriate, knowing what he knew about her.

She hung up the phone, her yellow helmet shaking back and forth in exasperation. She shot a quick text before vaulting onto the back of her black motorcycle, revving until it whinnied. With that, Celty Sturluson shot forward into the night.

– **An apartment complex; Shinjuku, Japan. July 10 – 11:35 pm –**

The large, airy penthouse suite was quiet. Its high-ceilinged interior was spacious, the entire southern wall sporting a plane of glass overlooking Shinjuku, and the eastern wall lined with shelves, heavy with philosophical books. Stairs on the west wall led up to the hallway that looked over the open den. A countless number of books about human behavior covered the second floor's eastern wall.

A young, black-haired man sat at a large steel desk in front of the window, computer monitor humming. His phone chirped in his hand, and he smirked as he read the message:

_**I know what to do. Stop calling me.**_

Izaya Orihara threw his head back and laughed, delighted. Oh, how he loved how _human_ she sounded. She really was an interesting character, he mused to himself.

An email alert popped up on his computer screen, and at the same time a chirp sounded once again, this time coming from the top drawer of his desk. Izaya glanced over the email and pulled out the second cell phone, skimming through the text and pursing his lips. This was going to be a boring job. _Too_ boring. His lips turned up into a mischievous grin. He _could_ change things around, spice things up a bit. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up, so Izaya stood and headed to the door, grabbing his fur-trimmed coat.

"I'm heading to Ikebukuro tonight!" Izaya called up to his secretary as he waltzed out of the suite.

Namie Yagiri looked up from the books she was browsing through on the second floor, frowning. "Ikebukuro? Is he suicidal?" Her frown cleared. "Oh well, I suppose it won't be a huge loss if Heiwajima beats him into a pulp tonight," she pondered aloud. Then she sighed. "I _would_ be without a paycheck though," she grumbled. "That damn info broker."

– **The red-light district; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 10 – 11:57 pm –**

"Look! It's the Black Bike!" A girl on the street shouted out as a leather-clad figure with a cat-eared helmet whizzed past on a silent motorcycle. A loud whinny filled the air as Celty screeched to a stop in front of the apartment complex bordering the pleasure district of Ikebukuro. She dismounted without removing her helmet, and proceeded into the lobby, heading straight into the elevators.

On the fourth floor, Celty marched up to a door and rapped sharply, sending the gold plaque labeled "404" rattling. Panicked shuffling could be heard inside the room before everything went silent.

Celty heaved a mental sigh, and then swung her leg around to kick the door. The door jamb splintered with the force, swinging open with a squeak. She walked into the swanky apartment just in time to see a man trying to climb out the window and towards the fire escape ladder, clutching a metal case in his hand.

Celty waved her hand forward, and shadowy, finger-like projections shot out, wrapping around the man's waist and lifting him clear off the ground. He struggled, screaming once before the shadows gagged him. He continued to fumble with his pockets, the glint of a silver knife flashing. The shadows tightened, restricting his movements, then spread to cover his whole body, smothering him until he lost grip of his consciousness. Celty slowly lowered the inert body to the floor, calling the shadows back. He never stood a chance.

– **Outside Ikebukuro Station; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 10 – 11:57 pm –**

"Tch," the blond man grumbled into his cigarette. He bared his teeth and wrinkled his nose as he looked around the street. "Smells like shit."

A shorter, brown-haired man, worn dreadlock-style, walked beside the blond. He shot the taller man a slightly amused look, eyebrow raised. "I don't smell anything. You should get your nose checked, Shizuo. You always smell shit when everything smells fine to me."

"Ah… Whatever." Shizuo Heiwajima kept walking, cigarette in his mouth and hands in his pockets. His lean body was clad in an immaculate bartender uniform, despite the fact that his real job was not nearly as tame as making drinks at a bar. "Where are we going this time?"

"Near the red light district, about five minutes away. The guy we're after has been putting us off for about three months now. His credit line's maxed out, yet he's still living the high life. The boss thinks he's going to off himself any day now, but he wants me to get as much out of him as possible before that happens." Tom Tanaka sighed and ran a hand over his face, dislodging his glasses a bit.

"Sounds like a spoiled prick, living in the pleasure district. Don't know what you need me in this job for." Shizuo took a drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke billow out from his nose and mouth.

"You never know what kind of things these crazy people will do. With their debt so high, they're desperate for just about anything that will help them avoid the consequences, including killing either themselves or the people after them." Tom grimaced.

Shizuo stubbed out his cigarette, and they trudged slowly along in companionable silence for a few minutes. As they neared their destination, a sleek, black shape hurtled by, sounds of horse snorting filling the night air.

"Is that... Celty?" Shizuo squinted at the blurred figure, making out only the yellow helmet and a flash of silver clutched in the rider's arms. "Huh. Probably on a job."

"Looked like she was in a rush," Tom commented with a shrug.

They reached the apartment complex, standing outside and staring up at the building. Shizuo suddenly flinched, his nose wrinkling. "Tch. Smells like fuckin' _shit_."

– **The Keio Plaza Hotel; Shinjuku, Japan. July 11 – 12:12 am –**

"So, Mr. Shiki. My company will receive the percentage we agreed on, provided that we can trust you to handle the transporting business?"

The Awakusa-Kai mobster looked at the big-shot American billionaire, his face impassive. _He's a good acquisition_, Shiki thought as he stared down the Caucasian man, reaching over to tap his cigarette ashes into the glass tray.

"I am nothing if I have not my honor," Shiki responded in lightly accented English. "Trusting the Awakusa should not be a question."

The bleached-blond American shrugged nonchalantly, but he couldn't quite hide the cunning gleam in his green eyes. "Hm, I suppose so. Honor really _is _a big deal for the Japanese. I apologize if I sounded impugnable, but my eyes and ears in Tokyo have whispered that you have the tendency to scam clients out of money. I was just ensuring the security of our agreement."

Shiki's head snapped around toward the foreigner, eyes narrowing dangerously. It seemed to take a moment before he could speak. "It... is a severe crime to insinuate such blasphemy. If you are inclined to believe it, my men can show you out now." The three men in black suits and sunglasses shifted on their feet behind Shiki, readying to toss the white man out the 10-storey window.

"Oh, that won't be necessary," the American responded with a lazy grin. "I could see by the way you conducted this business that you are a respectful and honorable man. Like I said, I meant no disrespect. I was merely minimizing my risks. It'd be a pleasure to work with you, Mr. Shiki."

The Japanese man couldn't help but grudgingly admire the other man's gall. _He's clever and cautious. A good head on his shoulders. We need him. Definitely a good asset._ Shiki stood up and bowed, reaching out to shake the American's hand. "If you would be so kind as to tell me where you heard this... rumor, we would be more than happy to increase your profits by five percent."

The white man smiled, clasping Shiki's hand with his own. "We have a deal. The information came from Shinjuku, actually." He paused as Shiki visibly stiffened, then continued, "It was quoted that he was quite the reliable info broker, but now I'm not too sure."

Shiki managed to end the meeting stoically. When the hotel doors closed, he snapped out in rapid Japanese, "Get Kazamoto on the line. Now."

All three bodyguards started at the vehemence in his tone as one quickly pulled out his cell phone to do his employer's bidding.

"Tell him that he's gonna be digging up dirt. Lots of it," Shiki said grimly. He strode over to the windows, staring out over the luminous city. "We're taking that Orihara bastard down."

"It's about damned time," a bodyguard muttered under his breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bête Noire**

_The familiar characters of Ikebukuro return to face off with the infamous and elusive SCP Foundation, but not without the assistance of the reformed genius prosecutor and his bumbling detective sidekick._

**Rated: T** for language and future violence/gore. No lemon, No yaoi. Pure action.

**Authors' Notes:**

**1. Previous knowledge of Durarara! (anime):** Not mandatory, but to understand some one-liners and grasp the characters' personalities and backgrounds, it is advised. Based off of the anime only; although certain novel/manga characters are mentioned for the sole purpose of supporting the plot.

**2. Previous knowledge of the SCP Foundation (website):** Mandatory. The SCP Foundation is "a wiki that serves as a collection of reports on paranormal artifacts/humanoids, based around the idea of an international agency that contains items that threaten the normality of the world. These items are referred to as SCPs, with each one given containment procedures, a description, and a history of experiments on them," according to TV Tropes. Visit "Members' Pages"* for more character information. Individual SCP case links may be provided within this document, as some unmentioned details may pertain to the story.

**3. Previous knowledge of Ace Attorney (games/manga):** Not mandatory, but helpful in character and circumstantial understanding.

**In this chapter:  
Durarara!:** Izaya Orihara, Celty Sturluson  
**Ace Attorney:** Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, Detective Richard Gumshoe

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

– **West Gate Park; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 11 – 12:18 am –**

Izaya was chuckling to himself as he skipped his way to the recovery point. Oh, what _fun_ that was! The look on Shizu-chan's face as the cops swarmed him... Izaya broke off with a full-bellied laugh. Priceless. _Now that he's out of my hair _and _Ikebukuro, it's the perfect time to set my plan into motion_, he mused.

The slender man with short black hair grinned as he spotted the Black Rider waiting for him, metal case gleaming at her feet. He skipped jovially up to her and said, "Well done! That went even more splendidly than planned!" He twirled around in a circle, throwing his hands up in glee.

Celty's helmet turned towards him as she stared for a moment before tapping on her phone:

What are _you_ so excited about? There's only money in here, right?

"Right, right." Izaya chuckled. How little she knew. This job wasn't about the money sitting in the metal case. No, it was about so much more. His most hated rival was on his way to prison, and these humans were providing him with such _endless_ entertainment; he almost couldn't keep up. "I _love_ humans!" Izaya couldn't resist another twirl of joy.

Celty's helmet merely shook back and forth, bemused as she handed the metal case to the ecstatic informant. "Thank you. You did well, my talented transporter," Izaya said with a fierce smile. He opened the case filled with notes and handed her a stack.

Yeah, whatever. I'm going home.

And with that, Celty jumped back onto her ride and shot off into the darkness. Izaya chuckled again and walked away.

Suddenly, a bulky man in a dirty, green-brown overcoat with spiky black hair sprinted forward, craning his neck towards where the Black Bike had whisked off. "H-hey! Prosecutor Edgeworth, didjya see that? It looked just like that urban legend, The Headless Rider!"

A man came up behind him, arms crossed over his vintage-styled maroon suit, complete with a black vest, white shirt and fluttering cravat. "You're imagining things, Detective Gumshoe."

– **Celty's home; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 11 – 12:30 am –**

Celty Sturluson stood in the threshold of the door, dumbfounded. The chic and spacious condo she'd lived in for the past twenty years was... empty.

When she had first tiredly walked into the place, she didn't hear her roommate call out to greet her. Assuming he was out working on an emergency, underground doctor that he is, Celty had gone into her room, booted up her laptop, and got ready to take a shower.

She stopped short. The bathroom was different. No shampoo bottles lined the shower wall, no toothbrushes sat by the sink. The glasses cleaner and shaving supplies that stocked the medicine cabinet were gone, as were the medical magazines that laid atop the toilet.

… _What the..._ Celty quickly backed out of the bathroom and went into the den and kitchen. No vitamins, no dishes, no pots, no pans. No throw pillows, no cards, no fuzzy bunny slippers. No pictures.

_Shinra?!_ Celty cried out in her mind, cursing her voiceless state. She ran down the hallway and into her roommate's room, throwing the door open.

Bare. Everything was bare. Shinra's room, once filled with textbooks and knick-knacks, consisted only of white walls, a desk, an empty bookshelf, and a stripped bed. Celty didn't have to look into the closet to know that it was empty, too. She froze as she considered what could have happened.

_No. It can't be. Please, let it be anything but that! _Celty was suffused in panic and anxiety. She felt like she was drowning, spinning as if on a carousel, full of unanswered questions. Running out the door, she grabbed her bike and hopped on, streaking back onto the dark streets.

The first place she checked was his workplace. Jumping off her ride and sprinting towards the abandoned building that doubled as an underground medical clinic, Celty burst through the doors. It too, was bereft; no equipment in sight, no criminal patients recovering from reconstructive surgeries.

Sinking to her knees, Celty finally faced her worst-case scenario, the reason explaining why Shinra seemed to have disappeared without a trace.

_They've come,_ Celty thought wretchedly. _The aliens have finally come!_

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! As a treat, chapter 4 will be posted up too! No SCPs... yet. ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Bête Noire**

_The familiar characters of Ikebukuro return to face off with the infamous and elusive SCP Foundation, but not without the assistance of the reformed genius prosecutor and his bumbling detective sidekick._

**Rated: T** for language and future violence/gore. No lemon, No yaoi. Pure action.

**Authors' Notes:**

**1. Previous knowledge of Durarara! (anime):** Not mandatory, but to understand some one-liners and grasp the characters' personalities and backgrounds, it is advised. Based off of the anime only; although certain novel/manga characters are mentioned for the sole purpose of supporting the plot.

**2. Previous knowledge of the SCP Foundation (website):** Mandatory. The SCP Foundation is "a wiki that serves as a collection of reports on paranormal artifacts/humanoids, based around the idea of an international agency that contains items that threaten the normality of the world. These items are referred to as SCPs, with each one given containment procedures, a description, and a history of experiments on them," according to TV Tropes. Visit "Members' Pages"* for more character information. Individual SCP case links may be provided within this document, as some unmentioned details may pertain to the story.

**3. Previous knowledge of Ace Attorney (games/manga):** Not mandatory, but helpful in character and circumstantial understanding.

**In this Chapter:  
MAIN**** - Durarara!:** Izaya Orihara, Celty Sturluson, Anri Sonohara, Mikado Ryūgamine  
**MAIN**** - Ace Attorney:** Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, Detective Richard Gumshoe  
**MINOR**** - Durarara!:** Simon Brezhnev, Namie Yagiri

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

– **Russia Sushi; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 11 – 5:26 pm –**

"My word, what do you call this?" Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth motioned politely at the dish in front of him, asking the large black man dressed in Japanese attire who had just set it down.

"Is call 'Moscow Roll.' Is good, try, try!" Simon's heavy Russian accent carried his voice through the room. Of course, nobody on the premises had any recollection of the events that came to pass two days ago.

"_Moscow_ roll, you say? May I inquire as to its ingredients?" Edgeworth did his best to hide the skepticism in his tone, although it flew right over Simon's head regardless.

The sushi chef just nodded, "Da, da, is cream cheese with hot salmon and—"

"On second thought, just tea will be fine. I seem to have lost my appetite." Edgeworth glanced at the dish as if it were poison as a large hand clumsily pulled it aside.

"Then can I have this, sir?" Gumshoe looked at the prosecutor with eager eyes, "I'll eat anythin', really! This looks tastier than raw noodles, sir!"

Edgeworth waved the plate away dismissively, "Please do." Turning away from the sight of a hungry Gumshoe gobbling up the 'sushi', he pulled out his cellphone, which had started to vibrate just moments prior. "Edgeworth speaking. Ah, Mr. Kazamoto. It's been a while. What can I do for you?"

Nearly an hour had passed since Edgeworth answered his phone. He was sitting quietly, clipboard in front of him, jotting down the information from the voice that spewed crime after crime into his ear.

"Suicide pacts? Good Lord." The prosecutor kept his voice low, but he was still met with a worried look from the detective sitting across from him. "How can it be that this man has not yet been incarcerated? Has the justice system in Japan deteriorated to such an extent since my last visit?"

The room for silent for a minute (save for the chewing noises coming from Gumshoe) as a look of interest flickered over Edgeworth's face.

"I see. Well, Mr. Kazamoto, this is a challenging situation indeed." A faint smirk tugged at his lips, "then again, I have never been one to decline a challenge."

– **Outside Raira Academy; Ikebukuro, Japan. July 12 – 8:12 am –**

"So, you're saying that you've been scouring the city for 32 hours, looking for Shinra, whom you believe has disappeared off the face of the earth because aliens abducted him?" The dark eyes behind the girl's glasses were wide with disbelief, her front bangs swinging in the breeze.

Celty's helmet bobbed up and down empathetically. She quickly tapped into her phone, then turned it so the screen could be seen.

Everything he owns is gone, too! It's like they've erased all traces of him!

"W-wa-wait a minute! You can't be serious!" squeaked the timid boy standing with them.

"Well..." The girl narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. Her soft-spoken voice was hesitant. "I mean, what else could have happened, Mikado? Celty says he disappeared completely within the hour that she was out..."

Mikado sputtered, face flushing. "B-b-but, Anri! Aliens?!"

Celty crossed her arms, propping her chin up with a fist. In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to tell a couple of high school kids about what had happened, especially since she intercepted them right as they were about to enter school for the day. But she didn't know who else to turn to. Shizuo wasn't answering his phone, and no way would she trust Izaya to tell her the whole truth – _if_ he even knew anything. Celty rubbed her helmet wearily.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't be dumping this on you. Go to school, I'll figure something out.

Anri Sonohara bit her lip, looking down at the ground. "I'll be right back," she blurted out, turning and dashing into an abandoned alleyway nearby.

"You know, Celty..." Mikado Ryūgamine began. He frowned, thinking. "If it really were aliens, and they went through the trouble of getting rid of all evidence that Shinra ever existed, wouldn't they have affected our memories of him as well? I mean, everyone you've talked to so far still knew who he was, right? Why go through all the trouble of erasing his existence if we still remember him? So it probably wasn't aliens at all," he concluded in a rush of air, convinced and relieved by his roundabout reasoning.

Celty's shoulders sagged in a sigh. She had to admit, aliens _were _kind of a huge stretch. There had to be a more logical explanation.

Mikado pursed his lips, then pulled out his cell phone, tapping a series of buttons. "You know what, I'm gonna post something on the Dollars' forum, see if any information comes in. It's easier than asking every single person in this city individually."

Celty's helmet tilted to the side as she thought about it.

That's a really good idea. Thanks.

Mikado smiled sheepishly. "No worries. I'll let you know if anything comes up."

She was about to type something in reply when Anri came jogging back, her schoolbag bouncing against her knees as she clutched it in her hands. "I'm sorry, Celty. I checked, but Saika hasn't heard anything about Shinra anywhere."

Celty waved a hand in dismissal.

It's fine. Thank you for trying, though. I really appreciate it. Let me know if anything changes.

Both students nodded. She climbed back on top of her motorcycle, riding away with a heavy heart.

– **An apartment complex; Shinjuku, Japan. July 14 – 9:04 pm –**

"I'm so _bored!_" This was the twelfth time that phrase had been uttered – or whined – that evening. Izaya Orihara spun around in his chair while tossing chess pieces one by one into a garbage can.

His secretary looked up apathetically from her book. "No jobs today?"

The informant groaned dramatically and threw a bishop in Namie's direction, narrowly missing her. "My sweet, simple-minded Namie. You don't understand _anything._" He knocked over a stack of papers from the desk with his foot, watching them land messily on the floor. "You see those? Those are jobs. They're _boring._"

Namie rolled her eyes and cursed under her breath, muttering, "I'm not cleaning that up."

Izaya ignored her and jumped off the still-spinning chair, landing gracefully on his feet. "Oh Namie, I think I made a terrible mistake by getting Shizu-chan locked up. Ikebukuro's no fun without him to mess with and Shinjuku has nothing new to offer me."

"What about those guys following you?" Namie closed her book, having lost the motivation to read because of her boss' irritating mood. "Surely that can't be boring."

The black-haired intel broker laughed and slumped back down into his chair. "You mean the foreigners with questionable outfits? Please." He swung his legs around to prop his feet up on the desk. "As if they stand a chance against me."

"Maybe you shouldn't underestimate them."

Izaya's voice hardened and lowered to a dangerous pitch, his ruby eyes glinting in the light. "Maybe _you_ shouldn't underestimate _me._"

Namie raised her hands in mock helplessness, shaking her head. "I'm just saying. Give 'em a chance."

Without another word, Izaya got up from the chair again, grabbed his signature trademark coat and disappeared into the night.

"Finally," Namie sighed, opening her book. "It's so hard to read _Fifty Shades of Grey_ when he's here."


End file.
